Submitted April 2021:
Dear Wendy,
thank you very much for sharing your deeply moving personal story! I am encouraged to tell some of mine:
I also had a chronically violent education (specially from my mother) and was long time struggling with aggression and easily provoked outbursts of anger and destruction.
Of course I tried all kinds of things (psychotherapies, creativ responses like writing songs and stories, playing clowns + theatre, playing guitar + singing, drumming, travelling, working main professionally as social-worker, coach and family-therapist) to diminuish the negativ effects.
Coming to drumming I started playing Blues-rhythms with drums at the age of 27 and noticed that I was wavering and not stable in keeping the rhythm.
When I lived in West-Africa at the age of 40, I got the spirit of djembe-drumming which I kept up – back in Hamburg – participating in a djembe-group. I never was as good as I would like to be… (and suffered…)
As I was looking for other challenges and watched various Taiko-styles like Kodo, Yamato … one day I saw Kaoly performing with her group „Gocoo“ in the „Fabrik“ (cultural place in Hamburg). I was completely flashed by her presence, power and smooth style. I decided that I wanted to learn exactly her style. (Up to that moment I already tried 3 years with a German-group practicing Yamato-style.)
Finally I managed to find Ingmar and his Kion Sai-group in Hamburg. After I passed the first workshop with Kaoly 2015 I had to fight a new cancer diagnosis and stepped back for an alternative treatment for my imune-system. I kept on practicing with Ingmars offerings but I always felt to be in the last row not being able to express the character of this „my beloved + most appreciated“ style. I was not able to play and perform coherent and was not allowed to play the interessting pieces I preferred.
Repeatedly I had to overcome the feeling that I am a serious drummer-failure although my heart and body is swinging in the rhythm. I swear myself to keep on and never give up my fire!
Finally came Corona-time and Ingmars offering of single-lessons came up. I thought I can’t be a bigger failure as I already was, so I will give it a try!
Now for the first time I heard some carefully uttered positive feed-back. I hope the progress will continue and one day the overwhelming joy of Kaoly`s Taiko-expression will overcome the countless feelings of Taiko-failure-sufferings!
Signed.