(Videos 1-12 below. Others: Taiko and ASD, Spravato Series, Grieving Sexual Violations). On February 1, 2024 I received my official diagnosis of ASD, after I had self-diagnosed in December of 2023 (having binge-watched YouTube videos, read articles, ordered and read parts of books, and taken about a dozen online assessment tests). I think because of the massive amount of misinformation out there on ASD, many people have been surprised when I told them about this or they respond with something indicating how most everyone is a little autistic.
However, learning this after so many years of suffering and being diagnosed with various mental health conditions (PTSD, CPTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, depression (mild and major), alcoholism), now I see the source of all my issues. I also see how so much could have been different had I known or had I been able to seek out different supports or people as friends or hobbies, or what have you.
I believe that taiko helped me heal so much because I am autistic. I believe my sensitivity to sound, my huge depth of emotions, and my openness to people who are safe, pushed me up this huge mountain where I gained a greater perspective than I had yet to achieve. I went up that mountain with each beat, each workshop, each connection, and each new friendship. My heart cracked open, and I knew true healing was possible.
Drumming as hard and chanting as loudly as one can with a group of more than fifty people is an awesome experience. I have taught many things before, but now I want to teach with the hope of helping others to heal. If it just means they end their day better than it started, that is a win for me! If it heals in some deep way, like taiko did for me, that is simply awesome.
I’m living the third and, I think, final chapter of my life – my kids are grown and I have more time. I want to share as much of my story as I can in case it can help others feel less alone. I don’t believe I am unique, and yet I have suffered as though I were. I often have felt very alone. The more connection I have the less alone I feel in the world, so this is a small way to help connect to others.
Dr. Jo Shares playlist on YT, and here is one of the first videos on the playlist. This is a link to an essay on empathy I wrote during the pandemic. But I’m not alone. Here is a story of an elderly lady’s empathy she had for her own rapist (her story was part of my research for my dissertation).
Spravato Videos here and the YT playlist.